Tyrell Page 16

  I zip up my jacket and step out in the cold. Wayne is leaning up against a car talkin’ to some other guy. I think his name is Rafael or some shit. I give them a what up too, and bum a cigarette from Wayne. Then I just lean against the car and chill. Try to relax.

  Wayne and Rafael is talking ‘bout the subway fare hike that’s gonna start next month. “That shit’s crazy,” Rafael say. “How they gonna charge that much to ride them dirty-ass trains?”

  “Word,” Wayne say. “And all them homeless people they got on them trains. Shit, man. They charging us more money and they ain’t doing nothing to get rid of them bums.”

  I just smoke and listen to them talk, but, in a way, it don’t feel like none of this is really happening. I mean, I can’t believe I really been stuck here at Bennett for so long. Or that I’m really homeless. Me. Two weeks ago, I had a address. When I was hungry, I went in the kitchen and got something to eat, and when I ain’t wanna deal with my moms, I went in my room and closed the fucking door and ain’t had to put up with nothing for a while.

  Now what I got? Some clothes in a garbage bag, a cell phone with, like, ten minutes left on my prepaid, a jacked-up CD player, and a couple MetroCards. Oh, yeah, I got a room in a disgusting roach-filled motel. I don’t even got my own bed.

  When they stop talking, I tell Wayne ‘bout the party, and I ask Rafael what he doing that night. “Nothing,” he say. “You need help?”

  “Yeah, setting up and keeping shit running.”

  “It’s two hundred for the night,” Wayne tell him, and I wanna punch him ‘cause I was ‘bout to tell Rafael I would give him $150.

  “Yeah, I’ll be there,” Rafael say.

  I give him all the info. “But you gotta help break down the equipment and load up the van.” Course I don’t actually got no van right now. That’s another thing I gotta set up.

  “Two hundred.” Rafael look real happy, like he already got the money in his pocket. “Cool, man.”

  “There you are!” I hear, and when I look up I see Jasmine standing in the doorway. She got her clothes back on, but she ain’t wearing no jacket. She come outside anyway. “I didn’t know where you went.”

  She stand next to me, close, so I put my arm ‘round her shoulder. She take the cigarette out my hand and start smoking it. “That ain’t right,” I tell her, trying to get it back. “And you smoke too much anyway.”

  She start laughing and fight me off. “I’m not the one out here smoking in the cold.”

  I get the cigarette back. “Yeah, but I don’t gotta smoke, like you.”

  “At least I got an excuse for doing something this stupid,” she say. “I’m addicted.” She put her arm ‘round my waist and whisper, “When are you gonna come back to bed?”

  “Gimme a minute.”

  We share the cigarette, passing it back and forth, and out the corner of my eye, I see Wayne and Rafael looking at each other. I know they heard what she said and they trying to figure out what’s up with us. They probably jealous too. Yeah, I know me and Jasmine ain’t doing nothing, but they don’t know that. All they know is what they see, a hot girl like her begging a brotha like me to come back to bed. And that’s all good.

  “I’m cold,” Jasmine say.

  “Okay, I’ma be back up there in a while.” I don’t got nothing more to do out here with them dudes, but, truth is, I wanna hear what they gonna say when Jasmine leave.

  “Hurry up,” she say. Then she run back inside. I keep a eye on Mr. Mendoza through the window, but he don’t move when she walk past the desk. He barely look at her. The man got one beat-down, and now he scared. Pussy.

  “Man, I can’t believe you hittin’ that,” Wayne say. “She wild or what?”

  I smile like I’m thinking ‘bout all the good times me and Jasmine had. “She a nice girl,” I tell him. “But I ain’t the kinda guy that talk ‘bout what a girl do or don’t do, know what I mean? All I’m saying is she nice.” I take a deep breath and watch them waiting for me to give them more details. Then I just go, “I’ll check y’all tomorrow,” and that’s it.

  As I walk away, I can hear Wayne and Rafael saying shit like, “That ain’t right,” and “That shorty need to be with me, not him.”

  I got my back to them, which is good ‘cause I’m cheesing it up real big. Yeah, I gotta admit, messing with them dudes heads was definitely worth staying outside for. And I’m feeling a lot better now.

  TWENTY-SIX

  Jasmine is sitting up in bed reading some schoolbook when I get back to the room. “You gotta keep your door locked,” I tell her.

  “You said you were coming right back.”

  “Yeah, but you seen the kinda folks they let up in here. Lock your door.”

  “Yes, Daddy.” She look cute sitting on the bed with her legs crossed. The jeans is off again and she showing off them sexy panties she like to wear.

  Pain shoot through my whole body. “I don’t know why I’m putting myself through this,” I say under my breath, but loud enough for her to hear. “Girl like to kill me, teasing me like this every night.”

  Jasmine start laughing. “Stop talking to yourself.”

  I take off my sneakers and put them by the vent so they could dry.

  “Take off your pants,” Jasmine tell me. But she don’t look up from her book, so I don’t know what she mean by it. Is she gonna do something to me again? And if she try, am I gonna let her?

  Being that I ain’t one to argue, I sit on the bed and take off my pants. Then I just wait, but she don’t do nothing. She just keep on reading.

  Then, after a while, she say, “Can you sleep with the light on? I need to finish this chapter.”

  “A’ight,” I say, confused.

  “It’s only, like, three more pages.”

  “A’ight.”

  I get under the covers, but I ain’t really all that sleepy, and I’m still waiting to see if Jasmine gonna do something to me. So after ‘bout ten minutes, I turn over and watch her. She highlighting something in the book and she kinda look like she really thinking hard ‘bout whatever she reading. “What you studying?” I ask.

  “Latin American history. The Mexican Revolution.”

  “Sound mad boring to me.”

  “You don’t like nothing about school?”

  “Nah. I used to just go ‘cause I had to. ‘Cause if I cut, my pops woulda kicked my ass.”

  “You gotta do things for yourself, not just your father.”

  “I know that.”

  “You going to college?”

  “Nah.”

  “Well, you should at least finish high school. You gotta think about your future. And Novisha’s. If you love her, then you gonna have to get a good job and pay half the bills.”

  I sit up in the bed. “I’ma pay all the bills. See, I’ma be a DJ, so I ain’t gonna need no high school diploma.”

  “You definitely not gonna go back to school?”

  “I don’t know.” For some reason, I ain’t all that sure I’m never going back. For now, I ain’t, but I know when my pops get out, he ain’t gonna let me stay outta school. And he gonna be pissed that I messed this year up and I’ma hafta do the tenth grade over.

  Jasmine go back to her book and I just lay there watching her. I don’t get why everybody care if I go to school or not. It’s my fuckin’ life. I ain’t bothering no one.

  When Jasmine finish studying, she get up to turn the light off and I lose my head for a while staring at her body. And I make a decision right there. I’ma get me some of that tonight. Shit, I’m tired of trying to do the right thing. Why I gotta be faithful to my girl when all she do is constantly put me down?

  So when Jasmine climb back on the bed, I put my arms ‘round her waist and pull her on top of me, and we start kissing in the dark. The thing I like ‘bout kissing Jasmine is her kisses ain’t like the ones Novisha give me, them sweet, love kisses. Jasmine kisses is hot and sexy and exciting.

  And wrong. But I don’t care ‘bout that right
now. I’m ready to close this deal. Shit, I can always feel guilty later. Only thing, after a couple minutes, Jasmine pull her mouth away from mines, so I’m like, “If you worried, I got a condom.”

  “Good,” she tell me. “Keep it for your girlfriend.”

  Damn. That hurt. I kiss her again. “C’mon. Help a brotha out.” No, I ain’t too proud to beg.

  She push herself off me. “Ty, you know I like you. But I’m not gonna let you use me.” She get under the covers and start getting all comfortable.

  “But I ain’t using you.”

  “Well, you the one who told me you have a girlfriend and you just wanna be friends with me, right? Remember that?”

  “Yeah, but—” I can’t stand when females use your own words against you. It ain’t right. “Why you tell me to take my jeans off, then?”

  “I wanted you to relax,” Jasmine say, like that’s the only reason why a girl would tell a guy to take his clothes off. “You know, Ty, before I met Emiliano, I might of done it with you. But now I respect myself and I even respect your girlfriend too much for that.”

  Emiliano. I’m tired of hearing ‘bout that guy. And how come Jasmine ain’t had no respect for herself the first night we was together or when she was stripping for Mr. Mendoza? Why she only got respect now?

  “Let’s cuddle.” Jasmine slide her body next to mines, but all that do is put me in more pain.

  I turn my body away from hers. I ain’t looking to cuddle. I’m tired of all that. How many days I’m s’posed to put up with that shit?

  But she don’t leave me alone. She start rubbing my back, first in big circles, then in little ones. “Don’t be mad,” she say.

  “I ain’t mad.”

  “Then talk to me.”

  I don’t move and she keep rubbing my back and shoulders.

  “Talk to me,” she say again, but this time it sound like she mean it. “You don’t have to keep everything inside, you know.”

  Jasmine hands feel real nice and warm on my back. I kinda don’t want her to stop, but after a while, I turn back ‘round to face her. It’s hard to really see her good in the dark and maybe that help ‘cause I start talking and it’s like I’m talking to myself. Yeah, Jasmine say things to let me know she listening, and she hold my hand the whole time, but she don’t cut me off or nothin’. She just let me keep talking.

  So I tell her everything. ‘Bout why my pops is locked up and what my moms want me to do to make money. And ‘bout Dante and how he trying to move in on my family. “And it ain’t that I don’t want Troy to have that jacket or them boots ‘cause he need them to stay warm,” I tell her. “But that ain’t the point.”

  “What is the point then?”

  “The point is, I was gonna be the one that got them things for him. Me. We don’t need Dante. And my pops is sitting there in prison thinking things is gonna be the same when he get out, but my moms can’t even wait for the man. You know what I mean?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “I mean, I don’t get women sometimes. They say they want a man that’s gonna love them, but when they got a good man, they disrespect him or lie to him or cheat on him. Make a man wanna give up on them.”

  “You talking about your father or you?”

  “Both. Novisha don’t be lying to me or cheating or nothing like that, but she do be disrespecting me. But she don’t get that. I mean, why I gotta read her diary to know what she really thinking ‘bout me? She s’posed to talk to me. We ain’t s’posed to be keeping nothing from each other.”

  Talking ‘bout this make me even more mad. I shoulda said something to Novisha before I left outta there. I shoulda told her that when her friends say some shit that put her man down, she s’posed to have my back. Not be embarrassed by me.

  Before I know it, Jasmine actually get me to cuddle with her, and I gotta admit, it’s all good. She wrap her arms ‘round my waist real tight and we kiss a couple more times. Course I got both my hands on her ass. I ain’t the kinda guy to give up that easy.

  “You a good DJ?” she ask me after a while.

  “I’m a’ight,” I say, but truth is, I don’t really know how good I am. Yeah, I could fill in for my pops when he on a break, but I ain’t never had my own party. I ain’t never had to think ‘bout how to keep the music pumping and how to get people dancing and shit. And I ain’t never said more than a couple words at a time on the mic. Plus I damn sure ain’t never had to promote no party and try to get people to pay they hard-earned money to hear me play.

  I tell all that to Jasmine.

  “I know you nervous, but I can help you promote if you want.” She sound kinda excited now. “I know everybody. Not just at my school but at the two other schools I used to go to before, um, before they asked me to leave.” She start laughing.

  “You got kicked outta two schools?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Man, you wasn’t no joke.”

  “I told you I used to be wild, right? But the good thing is that now I got friends all over. I could tell the right people about the party, and you gonna have that place packed.”

  “And I could go back to my old school and do the same thing,” I say. “I mean, yeah, I had to kick some ass at that school, but some of them kids was a’ight. And there’s this school ‘cross the street from Novisha school that I could promote at too.”

  “Ooh. In December, me and my friends danced at the talent show at my school. We could dance at your party if you want.”

  “What kinda dance?”

  “We do all kinds of dances, mostly salsa. And all five of us are pretty girls, and we know how to get the crowd going.”

  “I ain’t gonna pimp you, Jasmine.”

  “Stop being stupid! We don’t strip or nothing. It’s just fun. And if the party starts getting boring and we come out there, all the kids will start clapping and cheering and having fun.”

  “A’ight. That could be good.” I hope Patrick got some Spanish music in all them CDs he got.

  “I’m gonna talk to the girls tomorrow and see if they could come to the party. And I need to get my outfit from Emiliano’s apartment.”

  That name again.

  “Can you meet me at my school tomorrow?” she ask me. “I get out early, at one fifty. Then we could start going around to the schools.”

  I ain’t doing nothin’ tomorrow so I tell her yeah. I’m kinda glad she gonna help me out. Truth is, walking ‘round with a girl that look like her could only help bring the guys in. And that’s a good thing, ‘cause the guys is the only ones that’s paying.

  Jasmine fall asleep before me, and I just lay there for a while awake. Thinking. Not ‘bout Novisha ‘cause I’m way too tired to think ‘bout her tonight. No, I’m thinking ‘bout my moms. I gotta say, she don’t make no sense to me no more. First she tell me to step up and provide for my family, but then she don’t even give me a chance to do nothing. She been married to my pops more than seventeen years, so she know how much time it take to put a party together. But, still, as soon as she get desperate, she turn to someone else.

  The way I see it, the only way to keep shit together ‘til my pops get out is for this party to be bangin’. I need to walk away from there with some real decent money, then start working on the next party right away. That way, my moms won’t hafta look to Dante for help all the time, and Troy won’t hafta take handouts from a guy that say he my pops friend, a guy that be stabbing my pops in the back every chance he get.

  I mean, I know my pops been gone a long time, but my moms gotta know that Dante ain’t gonna make nothing better. He just gonna make new problems for us. Like we don’t got enough problems now.

  TWENTY-SEVEN

  Troy walking mad stupid the next morning on our way to the train. He picking his feet up real high like a horse or something, trying to get used to them heavy-ass boots. He got me cracking up, shit’s so funny. “Stop walking like that,” I tell him. “Just walk normal.”

  “I can’t,” he say, but I know them
boots ain’t all that heavy. He just bugging.

  Even though I don’t wanna admit it, he do look good in his new jacket and boots. And I know he warm. “Don’t let no one take your jacket,” I warn him. “’Cause all them other kids is gonna be jealous. If you gotta fight for your stuff, you fight.”

  “I ain’t gonna let nobody take nothing from me.” He actin’ all tough and shit. “Someone try to take my jacket, I’m gonna do karate on them.” He try to lift his foot to do a karate kick, but he forget how heavy them boots is, and he practically fall back and bust his ass. I catch him in time then scream on him. He go, “That ain’t funny, Ty. Stop laughing at me.”

  “C’mon, karate-man, we gonna miss the train.”

  We pick up the pace and cross Whitlock Avenue, then walk up the steps to the 6. I can hear a train coming, but I don’t know if it’s going uptown or down. Troy school is way uptown near where we used to live. Most of the motels we was sent to the past couple weeks wasn’t as far away from his school as Bennett is. We out in the boondocks now.

  When we get to the school, Troy teacher is in the cafeteria, keeping an eye on all the special-ed kids. They keep them on they own side of the room, like they can’t mix with them other kids or something. “Wow, Troy,” she say, smiling at him the way teachers do. “I love your new jacket.”

  Troy hold out his foot so she can get a look at his Tims.

  “And new boots too!” She look over at me. “I’m so glad your mother was able to get those things for him. She told me what a difficult time your family is going through.”

  “Yeah,” I say, nodding. “But we gonna be a’ight real soon.”

  “That would be wonderful.”

  “Um, Ms. Morton, can I ask you a question?”

  “Of course.”

  “You really think Troy don’t need to be in special ed no more? I mean, I know he smart, but sometimes he don’t think ‘fore he do things, he just do it.”