Bronxwood Read online

  I put the forty to my mouth and down the rest of the bottle while the girls dance and laugh and do everything ’cept kiss. For a couple minutes it’s like I’m not even still here with them. I mean, it’s not like I thought my pops was gonna call me the second they let his ass outta jail, but fuck, he ain’t seen me in a year. Think he would wanna see how his own kid is doing.

  But guess not.

  Forty-five minutes later, the girls is acting even drunker. Acting. ’Cause, my opinion, that bottle of vodka is just as full as it was when they got here. They probably just don’t get out all that much and they happy to be anywhere ’cept they own apartments.

  I’m starting to feel kinda good myself. Not only ’cause I ain’t sitting here by myself, but ’cause maybe it’s a good thing I ain’t heard from my pops. Maybe that mean he ain’t gonna come ’round here and try and take control of my life. Maybe he know I’m on my own and being my own man now, and I don’t need him the way I used to back when I was little, back when I used to think everything he did was right.

  “I better go home,” Asia say. “But let me pee first.” She leave the living room and go down the hall.

  The second she gone, I stand up and grab Adonna hand. “Why don’t you stay for a while? You don’t gotta be home now, right?”

  “No, but—”

  “Then stay.” I know it sound like I’m begging, but I can’t help it. Ain’t nothing I want more right now than for her to stay and maybe gimme some.

  “What’s this?” Adonna ask, acting like she just notice this chain I got ’round my neck. She touch it and get this little smile on her face. “It’s nice and heavy.”

  I don’t say nothing ’cause this is just Adonna being herself.

  “Can I wear it, just ’til I see you next time?”

  “Nah. It’s my pops.” For a second, I think ’bout telling her that he got out today and he gonna want it back, but then she probably gonna ask questions ’bout him, and that’s only gonna fuck up the whole mood I’m trying to get going here.

  “You sure I can’t borrow it?” She acting even more sexier than normal, smiling up at me and showing off them long eyelashes.

  And it’s starting to work on me. “I, I don’t know,” I say.

  “Just for a few days. I’ll take good care of it. Promise.” She already turning the chain ’round, and next thing I know she unhooking it and taking it off, like I already told her it was alright or something. When she get the chain off me, she hand it to me and turn ’round. “Put it on for me.”

  Damn, she good. I put my pops chain ’round her neck and she turn back and face me.

  “How does it look? Good, right?”

  “Yeah, but don’t get too used to it ’cause it ain’t mines.”

  “I know, I know.”

  It do look good on her too. I grab hold of both her hands and say, “Stay here for a little while.” I lower my voice and stare into her eyes. “C’mon, I wanna spend some time with you.”

  She kinda smile. “You do?”

  “Course, you know I’m into you.”

  “Yeah? Well, what about Novisha?” The way she say it, it’s like she challenging me or something.

  I look down for a half a second, then look in her eyes again so she won’t think I’m trying to hide something. “Me and Novisha is through,” I say. And that ain’t a lie neither. “That girl is my past. Me and you could be the future, you know what I’m sayin’?”

  We both looking into each other eyes now and from what I see, she look like she wanna believe me, but she ain’t sure. A lot of girls don’t be trusting dudes, and I can’t blame them really ’cause most of the time we be flat-out lying. But I’m for real this time. I mean, yeah, everything I just said ’bout the future was bullshit, but if the future is just for now, maybe me and her could hook up.

  We still holding hands when Asia come back to the living room. “Walk us home, Tyrell,” she say. It ain’t no question, the way she say it, so I grab my keys out my backpack and we go.

  Outside, in front of the building, I’m glad Cal standing by some woman car, too busy talking to her to see me leaving with the girls. I been knowing Cal so long, no doubt he could just take one look at me and know nothing happened with me and them.

  We cross the street and walk down the path to Building G. Asia walking mad fast like if she one minute late, her moms is gonna put her foot up her ass. Which might be true if what they say ’bout her moms ’round here is true.

  The second I step foot in the lobby it hit me that this the first time I been in this building since when me and Novisha was together. Back then, I was over here all the time, like it was my second home. Matter of fact, when I was living in that shelter, Novisha apartment was the only place that felt like home to me.

  The elevator come and while we inside I figure it’s my last chance to try again ’cause I ain’t one to give up easy. “C’mon,” I say to them. “Kiss.”

  And this time, I don’t know if it’s the ounce of vodka they split between them or what, but this time Asia lean over and give Adonna a kiss on the lips, and even though it don’t last more than a second, it’s hot. And damn, it get me so excited I think I’ma catch fire or something.

  I’m smiling so big my face hurt. “Yeah, that’s what I’m talking ’bout.” And we all bust out laughing like we crazy.

  When the elevator pass the ninth floor, Novisha floor, it don’t even faze me ’cause I’m having too much fun with these girls to even think ’bout Novisha. Things is different now. Shit change.

  We get to Asia floor, and me and Adonna stay in the elevator, holding the doors open while she go down the hall, waiting for her to get in her apartment. Gotta do my job and make sure these girls is safe. Not that Bronxwood is the worse projects in the Bronx or nothing, ’cause they got way worse places. But still, there do be some scary dudes living here, violent motherfuckers that don’t need to be up in here.

  Asia live all the way at the end of the hall, so before she get to her door, the elevator alarm start going off. But, still, I wait ’til she inside her apartment before letting the doors close. Then Adonna press 19, and as soon as we moving up again, I make my move. I put my arms ’round her waist and pull her close to me and bring my lips on hers. And this ain’t no kinda kiss that two girls give each other when they think they drunk. We kissing for real. I got my tongue practically down her throat and we breathing on each other all hot and shit. Damn, it feel good.

  So good we don’t stop when we get to 19. I hear the doors open and close and for a minute the elevator don’t move off that floor. But then we on our way down again and all I’m thinking is that I’m kissing Adonna Singleton. And she kissing me back.

  This is what I need. I need someone new, somebody to be into, that could make me feel this way. ’Cause it’s been a while. “Come back to my place,” I say to her. “Don’t think ’bout it. Just do it.”

  Her lips is like a inch away from mines. “I can’t,” she say. “I—”

  I kiss her again, just to remind her what she thinkin’ ’bout giving up on tonight.

  But right after I move my lips off hers, she say again, “I can’t.” Only thing, she sound like maybe she getting weaker now. She want me. I don’t got no doubts ’bout that. “I’m not like that,” she tell me.

  “Like what?”

  Before she can answer me, the elevator get back down to the lobby and the doors open up. And damn if it ain’t Adonna brother Kenny, wheeling boxes of them icees and sodas and shit from his truck into the elevator on a hand truck.

  Dude got the worst fucking timing I ever seen.

  “Where y’all going?” he ask Adonna.

  “Nowhere,” she say. “Not that it’s any of your business anyway.”

  Kenny look at me all suspicious and whatnot. “You leaving, Tyrell?”

  “Yeah,” I go. “I was gonna make sure Adonna got home safe first.”

  Kenny stop the doors before they close behind him. “Good. But you don’t
need to no more. I’m here now.”

  Damn. Kenny is such a asshole. It’s like he know I was trying to get some from his sister and he making hisself her personal bodyguard or something. What, he don’t think she old enough to make up her own mind ’bout what she do?

  Adonna look kinda mad, but instead of telling her brother to go fuck hisself, she shrug at me and tell me she gonna see me tomorrow if I’m ’round. She say it like me and her wasn’t kissing just now. Like I’m just some dude she only know by hi and bye. I mean, I know she probably don’t want her brother to know what she was just doing, but she don’t gotta be like this neither.

  “A’ight,” I tell her. “See ya ’round.” And I walk out the elevator and out the building, not really knowing what just happened and how my night got so fucked up so fast. ’Cause this whole night coulda turned out way better. I coulda been walking Adonna back ’cross the street, holding hands with her, knowin’ me and her was ’bout to have ourself some fun. Instead I’m walking ’cross the street by myself. Back to Building A.

  The second Cal see me, he get half a smile on his face and go, “Told you.”

  And I can’t help myself. I shake my head and start cracking up with him, like we used to do back in, like, seventh grade. Just being stupid. ’Cause I shoulda knew better than to think getting with a girl like Adonna was gonna be easy. Girls like that, that look like her, it’s like they born knowing how to make guys work to get them.

  I lean against the building and stay outside for a couple more hours, hanging with Cal while he work, laughing with him ’bout all kinda shit. It feel good being out here, ’cause the truth is, I don’t know how much longer this kinda freedom gonna last.

  Shit, knowing my pops, this whole thing might be over for me tomorrow.

  SATURDAY, AUGUST 2

  SEVEN

  It’s mad early when my cell ring and wake me up. It feel like I only been ’sleep ’bout a hour, but the ringing so loud ain’t no way I can sleep through it. I grab the cell and see the time. 5:14. In the morning. What I wanna know is, who I know gonna call me this early? I hit the talk button. “Hello?” My voice come out all rough and shit.

  “Be downstairs in a half hour and bring the key for the storage room.”

  It’s my pops. And that’s all he say. Before I can even think of what to say back, he hang up.

  For a while I don’t move. I just stay in bed thinking ’bout what he said and how he said it. Weird thing is, I can’t tell what kinda mood he was in, like, is he mad ’bout something? I used to could tell a whole lot by the way he sounded, but I ain’t heard his voice in so long I don’t know no more.

  A half hour later, I don’t know why, but I’m standing outside in front of the building like a fuckin’ asshole. Ain’t nobody out here at this time ’cept some guy pushing two shopping carts full of empty cans and bottles down the street. The carts is tied together and he probably got a couple hundred cans in there, plus he got a whole lot more in the two garbage bags hanging off the sides. Dude musta been up all night to pick up all them cans by hisself by this time in the morning. It look like he ready to cash out, and the sun just coming up now.

  After a couple minutes of me standing there, a black van pull up to the curb in front of me and stop. To be honest, I don’t even hardly recognize the driver at first. I look in the window and first thing I see is some dude with a goatee. Then, when the guy in the van turn to look at me, I see it’s my pops and I’m like, damn. How I ain’t recognize him?

  Still, for a couple seconds I just stand there on the curb ’cause I don’t know what I’m s’posed to do, get in the van or just wait for him to get out and come get the storage room key? ’Cause that’s probably all he want anyway.

  Before I can do anything, my pops get out and come over to me. I’m getting the key from my pocket when he grab me up in a big hug and laugh and say, “You just gonna stand there when you ain’t seen your pops in damn near a year?” He hug me the way he used to, ’cept even harder now and he don’t let go as fast.

  But I ain’t looking for this shit from him. I pull away and, ’cause I don’t got nothing else to say, ask him, “Where you get the van from?”

  “Borrowed it,” he go.

  I don’t know what else to say, so I just hold out the key. “Here.” Now that I seen him, all I wanna do is get back in my bed.

  My pops take the key from me and say, “Come on.” Then he just go back ’round to the driver side and get in like he know I’ma do what he say.

  Part of me wanna just turn ’round and go back in the building and not care what he think. But that ain’t gonna work with him. He don’t play that, ’specially not from me. So I end up getting in the van and as soon as I close the door, he make a U-turn real fast and we outta Bronxwood.

  While he drive, my pops is just smiling and talking, saying shit like, “Ty, man, you don’t know. You don’t know how good it feel to be out, know’m saying? When they take away your freedom, shit, man, you don’t know how it feel to get it back.”

  He go on and on, and I just stare at him, trying to think what look different ’bout him. Most of the time people be telling me I look like him, but I never seen it. He a little taller than me and he used to be bigger than me, but he ain’t hardly bigger no more. Somebody ain’t spent no time in the prison gym, that’s for sure. And his goatee got some gray hairs in it now, and the hair on his head is turning gray too, and that make him look mad old. He need to get up on that Just For Men shit.

  When he stop talking for a second, I say, “What time they let you out yesterday?”

  “Supposed to be nine o’clock in the morning, but by the time I got out it was more like ten thirty. They be taking they time letting niggas go.” He laugh.

  But I’m serious. “You go see Troy?”

  “Not yet,” he say, making a left turn and merging onto 95, which is practically empty at this time a day ’cept for some trucks.

  “If you woulda called me yesterday, I coulda took you over to see him at his camp.”

  “I was in jail for a long fuckin’ time, Ty,” he say. “Going to see Troy at camp wasn’t the first thing I had on my mind, know’m mean?” He laugh again all loud and shit, like I even wanna hear this. Like I need to know anything ’bout what him and my moms do.

  He go back to talking ’bout all the shit he wanna do now that he out, and I go back to not listening. I mean, I know he happy he out, but I ain’t feeling the same way. Now that he back he gonna start wanting to change everything and make me move back home, wherever that’s gonna be. He gonna expect me to go back to doing what he want. But I ain’t the same no more, and he gotta know that.

  I’m looking out the window, thinking, and the sun really coming out now, but when we get to the exit we s’posed to get off at, the one for the storage place, my pops drive right past it. “Where we going?” I ask him ’cause, really, it’s too early and I’m too tired to have him just taking me places I don’t wanna go.

  “Wait and see,” he say. Then he turn on the radio and start talking ’bout how much music he missed out on and how I’ma hafta tell him ’bout all the new stuff ’cause he gotta be up on it. Like he ever was. Dude don’t never play nothing but old skool.

  It ain’t ’til he pull off the highway that I figure out where he taking me — the Black Rock Diner over by Castle Hill, this twenty-four-hour spot me and him used to end up at all the time on the weekends after his parties. We would get there ’bout four, five in the morning, not really drunk or high, but still kinda buzzed, and me and him used to eat and talk ’bout the party and all the crazy shit that just happened, and laugh like we was stupid or something. Then we would go home and either stay up some more out on the balcony, getting high, or we would pass out, all tired and full.

  He park the van in the parking lot and get out, but I take my time ’cause I ain’t in the mood for the Black Rock today. I don’t even know why he doing this, bringing me here. Them days is over.

  But I get out anyway
and say to him, “You woke me up for this?” But he already walking ’cross the parking lot and probably don’t hear me.

  I follow him in the diner. The way I see it, I ain’t really got no other choice. What I’m s’posed to do? Stand out here in the parking lot the whole time he in there eating?

  The thing ’bout the Black Rock is that it ain’t never empty, no matter what time you get there. My pops go right to a table in the middle of the place, sit down, and start looking ’round like he expecting to run into some friends or something up in here. He, like, always ready to party. No matter where he at.

  I sit down ’cross from him and don’t say nothing. While we wait for one of the two waitresses to even see that we there, my pops go, “This place ain’t change none. Shit, it look like they ain’t even do no cleaning up in here since the last time I was here.” He laugh.

  I shrug.

  Finally, a waitress come over to our table, and when she see my pops she smile real big and go, “Oh, my God, Tyrone! Where have you been? We missed you around here.”

  My pops go right into his smooth act and tell her right out that he was locked up and just got out yesterday.

  She hit him on the shoulder real light. “Oh, I always knew you were a bad boy.” And she still smiling at him, like what he told her don’t matter to her at all.

  My pops don’t wait a second before he go, “You like bad boys?”

  “Can’t help myself,” she say, and wink at him. And the two of them go back and forth, laughing and flirting like I ain’t even sitting here. I’m just watching him, the way he acting all cool and shit. Telling everybody his business, all proud that he was in jail or something.

  When they stop talking long enough for the waitress to ask what we wanna order, we don’t gotta look at no menu or nothing ’cause we always get the same thing when we come here. They got this thing here they call the Breakfast Beast. It’s ham, sausage, eggs, hash browns, and cheese in a French toast sandwich. It got some kinda sauce in it too, but I can’t never figure out what it’s made outta. The thing look real nasty, but shit is slammin’. I ain’t lying. Me and my pops get it with a side order of grits and cheese, and it’s on. Make you so full you can’t even move for like a hour. But it’s that good kinda full, where you in pain but you still happy and satisfied and shit.